See You in My Nightmares
by QueenieMeanie
Summary: Spoilers for 4.10 "And I got off that rack, and God help me, I started ripping them apart. I lost count of how many souls…" But you never forget your first. OC
1. Prologue

**Story Title:** See You in My Nightmares

**Summary:** Spoilers for 4.10 "And I got off that rack, and God help me, I started ripping them apart. I lost count of how many souls…" But you never forget your first.

**Warnings:** Spoilers up to 4.10, maybe 4.11. Strong language, mentions of torture, disturbing content. Ratings may go up.

**Genre:** Drama/Angst/Romance

**Disclaimer**: I wished on a star last night – Sam and Dean Winchester still don't belong to me. Oh well.

**Author's Note:** Okay, so I've had this written out for a while, didn't know whether or not I wanted to post it. I'm also trying to get back into my writing groove (Spookshow baby, and my X-Men fic: Gypsy's Curse, which will both be updated soon, hopefully) Hope you guys enjoy this short snippet of my new fic.

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**Prologue**

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The smell of brimstone filled the air. It was strong, stale and suffocating.

My lungs burned – I couldn't breathe. I couldn't even move.

I cried out "_Please, no more_!" Or at least I thought I did, did I? Or had I thought it? I wasn't sure of anything any more. "_Please_!" I thrashed violently in my restraints, jaw clenched and eyes closed tightly so that I couldn't see what was going on around me. I didn't want to see.

Several hands grabbed at me, tearing at me, into me. Make it stop.

"Hold her down!" A voice ordered, and it was then that I realized I could hear others speaking, but couldn't make out what they were saying. And suddenly a scream erupted, coming from nowhere and everywhere at once. It sounded so awful and distressed. It couldn't possibly be human. "Hold her down!"

I felt something sharp pierce my arm, breaking skin and drawing blood – so much blood. My whole body went aflame. _Please no more._

The scream continued.

My back arched, body tensed and I balled my fists – the pain was unbearable, and then a strange calm spread through me. My body relaxed, and I felt myself falling.

Was I dying all over again?

I opened my eyes. Hazel met brown, my vision blurred and I began to feel light headed. "I'm sorry," a voice whispered. "So sorry."

The scream began to die down, and my last coherent thought before I let myself go completely was – _Oh, God. It was coming from me._


	2. Stranger in The Dark

**Authors note:** Sorry for the late post, hope that i'll get a few more reviews this time. Let me know what you think of the story =) Enjoy! And remember, please review! Thanks to DeanCasLover22 for reviewing the last chapter, and everyone who read =)

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Chapter One: **

Stranger in The Dark

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Part of me knew the nightmares would never stop.

No matter what I did – they just kept coming.

Even now, as I sat on my bed, tangled in sheets, bits and pieces of a nightmare lingered in my mind. I sat still for as long as I could, trying to steady my racing heart, and convincing myself that it was only a dream – it couldn't hurt me.

But it could definitely scare me to death – the blood, pain… the screaming, sometimes it was too much. And sometimes I dreamt of my sister…

I tried everything I could to keep the nightmares away – therapy, medication, hell, I even tried meditation and watching what I ate before bed. Anything. But nothing seemed to work; it was getting frustrating, and I was feeling desperate, so much so, that I didn't even want to sleep.

I couldn't stay awake longer than a day and a half before collapsing, worrying everyone, and prompting my mother to suggest that I should stay in a clinic, where I could be put under better surveillance.

Somehow I doubted it would help.

"Damaris?" I looked up to find my mother standing in the doorway of my room, the light in the hallway shinning in. she flipped the switch on, allowing me a better look at her worn out face, her long brown hair pulled into a low ponytail.

I sighed heavily, and plastered a weary smile on my face. "Sorry, mom. I didn't mean to wake you up. Just another nightmare."

"What was it about?" She asked as she usually did. She made her way towards my bed, and sat down, taking my hand in hers.

"I don't remember." It wasn't a complete lie.

"Mari, you need to be honest with me. The therapist and the doctor said –"

"I know what they said," I snapped. "But I'm fine."

The look on her face was enough to regret my tone. I sighed, letting my head drop in shame. We sat in silence for a long stretch of time before she spoke. "I just worry about you. I know these last couple of months, well, it hasn't exactly been the easiest time, for either of us, but… I just don't want to lose you too. I almost did already," her voice hitched a little, but I kept my eyes downcast. I hated having these discussions. "Try to get some sleep, baby," she said, once she realized I wouldn't be participating in the conversation anymore. She stood and kissed my forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too," I replied, thankful that she had dropped it, but inwardly promised that I would try to get better for her. All this moping, and feeling sorry for myself wasn't helping either of us.

I watched her leave the room, closing the door behind her, and after a few minutes I stood up, my socked feet wiggling into the carpeted floor, there was no way I was going back to bed. I stretched and checked the clock on the nightstand. The bright red lights read four eighteen p.m.

I blinked. I'd slept for three hours this time. I congratulated myself, sarcastically. Even though I hated sleeping these days, part of me still loved it. Soft pillows, warm blankets and my queen size bed. It took everything in me not to get back into bed.

I closed my eyes for a split second, and was immediately assaulted with flashes of red. I jumped, eyes snapping open. Yeah, there was no way I was going back to sleep, and not wanting to stay in my room any longer, I began to walk downstairs, passing a wall of photos that contained my mother, my sister, Drew, and me. There were a few of my dad but not too many, and some of Odis, our dog, who was currently sleeping on the sofa in the living room. I gave her a quick scratch behind one of her ears and stepped into the bathroom to splash some water on my face.

I stared at my reflection in the bathroom mirror, noticing, with much distaste, the bags under my brown eyes. I shook my head, and turned on the sink, bending over as I splashed my face with cold water, hoping it would wake me up a little. I reached for a towel near-by and stood up, drying my wet face and looked back at the mirror.

A sharp gasp escaped my lips as my eyes caught sight of something standing behind me. I whirled around sharply, nearly slipping on the wet floor. I held on to the sink for support. There was nothing behind me.

It had been a quick flash, but I could have sworn it was a person, covered in red, and reaching out for me. I shook my head, rationalizing that my lack of sleep was playing mind games on me. It had happened before, but the last time I had nearly ran into oncoming traffic.

I stepped out of the bathroom to find Odis standing on the other side of the door. "Hey, there." I said, reaching down to pet her, but she quickly moved away, towards the front door.

She wanted to go outside. I jogged upstairs, quickly and put on a pair of sneakers and sweater, and made my way downstairs to her.

Bending down, I gently pulled the large German Sheppard towards me to put her collar and leash on. "Come on, Odis," I said, scratching the back of her ears. "Let's go for a walk."

She barked in response, tail wagging excitedly. I winced, and quickly made my way out, not wanting Odis to wake mom up with her barking, and shivered as I stepped into the cold night. I quietly scolded myself for not grabbing my jacket, but realized it wouldn't be a good idea to try to go back and get it. I wrapped my sweater around me, a little more tightly and began to walk down the street, towards the neighborhood park.

It was lonely out, no surprise there, but I was starting to regret coming out so late at night, alone.

Odis nudged my leg, suddenly, as though noticing my discomfort, and, looking down at the beast, I felt a little bit safer. Odis was a peaceful pup, but I was sure no one would try to do anything while she was at my side, or at least, I hoped not and with that in mind I continued on.

Not even halfway to the park, Odis began to pace over a certain spot of grass, sniffing. I untied the plastic bag I always kept tied to the end of her leash to pick up after her.

There was always a downside to things, and the downside of owning a dog – having to pick up their mess. My younger sister, Drew, was the one who'd wanted a dog in the first place, and, of course, being the oldest – the responsibility fell on me.

I was the one taking Odis to the vet, getting her the stuff she needed, which was fine because I had a job and could afford it, but I was also the one taking her out for walks and giving her baths. Oh, the fights Drew and I had over Odis. Once I had threatened to talk to mom about giving the dog away, Drew burst into tears and promised she'd help out more, and she did. Bath time was always a funny site. Drew had been a tiny thing, watching her try to bathe the beast was hysterical. The German Sheppard would always overpower her and I'd have to step in, and save the day.

Drew, I thought, feeling a sudden tightness gripping at my heart. I missed her a lot.

The sound of Odis growling pulled me out of my thoughts. I stood up, startled. "What's wrong, girl?" I asked, trying to see what it was that was making her react this way, but there was nothing there. She barked, suddenly, fur sticking up. An uneasy feeling came over me. I pulled at her leash, trying to lure her away, head back home where I knew we would be safe.

A sound in the distance caught my attention. It sounded like a grunt. Odis growled again, louder this time, baring her teeth. "Odis, _basta_!" I commanded, but she only got worse and began to pull harder.

I couldn't believe this. I felt like I was playing tug of war with my dog, and she was winning. I tried to tug her towards me again, inwardly thinking that I would have to buy her a harness because this leash just wasn't cutting it.

With one final tug, on her part, I was pulled down to the ground. I lost grip of her leash and she ran off.

"No!" I winced at the impact, but quickly jumped to my feet. "Odis, stop! Come back!" I called out, and began to chase after her despite my fear of whatever it was hiding in the dark. I had to catch Odis. There was no way I could let anything happen to her, but I was already beginning to get tired. I was never much of a runner, could barely do five minutes on a treadmill, but here I was, struggling to pump my legs harder – to keep going. "Odis!" I called out again, hoping she would hear me and come back. "Odis!" I slowed to a stop at the end of the street, wondering if she had gone left or right.

There was no way to know now, no hint to which direction to take – she was gone.

I shook my head, running both hands through my curly brown hair with frustration. I tried to ignore the fact that I was having a hard time catching my breath, and the panic that was now settling in my chest. I closed my eyes, trying to think of something – anything to get her back. I'd have to make fliers, post them all over town. Ask around. Maybe they'd let me put some up at work, mom could – mom, my thoughts trailed off. Mom was going to flip. Odis was her baby. Our baby.

Drew's baby. I lost Drew's baby, the one thing that was keeping me connected to my sister, and she was gone.

I could feel my eyes beginning to water, but a noise from behind me pulled me out of my despair and I stiffened.

"I believe," spoke a voice, low and gruff. I felt a chill go down my spine, and I knew that it wasn't because of the cold air. I turned around, sharply; ready to defend myself if needed. The owner of the voice stood a few feet away from me, hidden in the shadows. I couldn't quite make out his facial features, but could see that he was wearing a trench coat, and, to my surprise, Odis stood by his side. "She belongs to you," he finished, and held out her leash for me to take.

Still feeling a little uneasy, I took a step towards the stranger and grabbed her leash from him. "Thank you," I said, giving him a small smile. Relief took over me as I bent down, and gave her a quick squeeze. "Stupid dog," I scolded affectionately. "Don't you ever do that to me again. You could have gotten hurt or worse!" She whined softly, and went to lick at my face. I shook my head, knowing she was trying to butter me up so I'd forgive her. And it worked, of course. I was such a push over. I looked away from Odis to the stranger, surprised that he hadn't left. "Thanks again, really. I don't know what I would have done if anything happened to her."

"It was not a problem," he said, but made no move to leave. "You shouldn't be out at this time of night. It's … dangerous, especially if you are by yourself," he said in a scolding tone, much to my surprise.

I stood up. "I know, but I figured with Odis I'd be ok."

He looked down at my furry companion, "She is a very brave dog."

I raised an eyebrow at the comment. "What do you – holy shit," I could have sworn he flinched. "Are you ok?" I asked, worrying overtaking me when I noticed the bleeding cut on the bridge of his nose, and the bit of blood on the corner of his mouth. "Did you get mugged or something?"

"Or something, I believe." He responded, looking away for a moment. "I have dealt with the problem for the time being. Your dog wandered along at a very convenient moment, thankfully. I made sure no harm came to her after she distracted the… abomination."

My brows shot up as I gaped at him. Was he trying to tell me that Odis saved his life? "I'm … I'm glad she could help," I said meekly, inwardly thinking that Odis seriously deserved a belly rub, a spot on my bed tonight and extra treats. "I'm Mari – err – I mean Damaris," I corrected, outstretching my hand, figuring there was no harm in introducing myself to the man my dog had apparently saved.

He tilted his head to the side, slightly and stared at my hand as though he were inspecting it. I frowned, feeling foolish the longer I waited, and just when I decided to drop my hand, he grasped it in his own. He locked eyes with me, and I found myself lost in his blue eyes.

Replaying that last phrase over, I cringed at how stupid and mushy it sounded, but I had seriously never seen anyone with eyes like his. They were a dark, dazzling shade of blue, but they almost… glowed.

"I am Castiel."

"Castiel," I repeated, feeling a little embarrassed by my thoughts. I suddenly realized that he still held my hand in his. "You can, uh, let go… now." He did. "It's nice to meet you, but can I ask why you're out here so late? If Odis hadn't come by, you could have been seriously hurt. Are you lost?"

"No, I am where I am meant to be."

I raised an eyebrow. "In the park. In the middle of the night?" I asked, skeptically. From beside me, Odis whined a little. I looked down at her, and then back at Castiel. "Look… I normally don't do this," I started, but second thoughts began to form. I didn't know this man. He could be dangerous, someone wanted – a psychotic, serial killer! I locked eyes with him again, all uneasiness washing away. "But if you need a ride home," I hesitated. "I could give you a lift."

"That would not be possible," he sighed, looking up at the night sky. "I am … very far from home."

"Ok. Motel maybe? Where are you staying?"

"Here and there."

I rolled my eyes. "Look, I'm trying to help you, but I can't do that if you're gonna be all cryptic with me. I need a straight answer." I was beginning to feel irritated with this man, and I couldn't understand why I wanted to help him, but I knew I wouldn't feel right leaving him on his own.

"Though I … appreciate your concern and your want to help me, it is not necessary," he looked away suddenly, and stared into the darkness as though he were waiting for something to pop out. "You should go home, Damaris. It isn't safe here."

"Oh, but it's safer for you?" I asked incredulously. I seriously didn't feel right leaving him out on his own. He was hurt, and in denial. "Please, just let me -"

"Go," he commanded, turning slightly away from me. I flinched at his tone.

"Fine," I grumbled, tugging at Odis' leash. "Be careful," I told him and began to walk away from him, feeling guilty.

Halfway down the block, I heard a flutter of wings. I looked over my shoulder. Castiel was gone.


	3. Welcome to Saul's

A/N: a little discouraged that I'm not getting reviews for this story, but i'd like to thank **.** for reviewing. I really appreciate it! And thanks to those who are reading, and adding this to their alerts! Here's the next chapter, enjoy and please review =)

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**Chapter Two:** Welcome to Saul's

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"Hi, there. Welcome to Saul's, I'm Damaris, your waitress, is there anything I can get for you?"

I stared at the elderly couple, expectantly with a pen and pad in my hand. They'd been looking at the menu for the past ten minutes, still hadn't decided what they wanted to eat. I tried to be helped, suggesting what they might like, even offered to come back once they knew, but the woman was adamant that they didn't need time; they knew what they wanted already.

The phrase: 'I will not scream at the customers' repeated over and over again in my head, but it was easier said than done. I could feel a headache approaching, and I fought the urge to pinch the bridge of my nose.

I chalked up my irritation to lack of sleep. In the past four nights, all together, I'd only slept seven hours. An average person, my age, should at least get seven to eight hours a night, not seven hours in less than a week. It was becoming difficult to function, to focus, and the nightmares weren't helping.

But… there had been one night, almost a week ago where I hadn't dreamt at all. Or maybe, I just didn't remember. I hadn't slept very long, maybe five hours – it was amazing.

It had been the night I met Castiel, the strange man in the trench coat. Hadn't seen him since that night he disappeared when my back was turned. Wasn't sure why, but I often found myself thinking about him – wondered if he was okay, if he made it home.

"Young lady?" The elderly woman's voice broke through to my thoughts. I blinked. "I think I'll have the lunch special," she finally said, pointing to a picture of pancakes, bacon and eggs. And with a smile she added, "I'd like the eggs sunny side up, and can I get some more coffee, please, dear?"

I forced a smile. "Sure, thing. And you sir?"

"The same," he curtly replied.

"All righty – coming right up."

"Hey, Maris!" The cook, Derek greeted me with a big, lopsided grin as I approached him, and handed him the order. I rolled my eyes, annoyed at his cheeriness. Once upon a time, I'd had a crush on him – he was my age, tall, dark hair, green eyes and a nice smile. He was handsome, smart and a great personality, but after some time that crush dimmed to just friendly affection towards him. "Whoa, you look tired."

I raised an eyebrow at the comment. "Thanks. Is that your way of telling me I look like shit?"

"What?" His green eyes went wide as he stuttered an apology. "N-no! You just look tired. Have you been sleeping?"

This time I refrained from rolling my eyes, and instead gave him a half smile, shrugging. "Who needs sleep?" I joked. "I can sleep when I'm dead."

He shook his head, disappointedly. "You need to take better care of yourself, Damaris. You keep going this way you might just end up that way." I gave him a pointed look, one that clearly stated he was charting on dangerous territory. I knew that almost everyone in my life knew what I had done, what happened, but I didn't like to talk about it if I didn't have to. And right now I didn't have to. "Shit, Maris... I'm sorry, I –"

I helped up a hand, "It's cool, really I …" I looked away as I spoke, eyes roaming over the faces of people sitting in the diner. They finally settled on a familiar face. "Need to get back to work," I walked away from Derek, hearing him sputter another apology. I ignored him and made my way towards the table in the back. I hesitated for a moment, what if he didn't remember me?

He was still wearing the long trench coat he wore when I first saw him, and a suit with a white shirt, tie hung loosely around his neck. In this light I finally got a better look at him. He was handsome; there was no denying that. He had dark, tousled hair, and a thin layer of stubble covering his jaw and most of his neck.

"Castiel?"

His blue eyes locked with my brown ones, a hint of a smile played on his slightly chapped lips, "Hello, Damaris."

"What are you-" I blinked, surprised to find him here, at my job, of all places. "Are you stalking me?"

He tilted his head to the side, eyes still boring into mine. "I… don't believe I am." He sounded as though he was unsure.

"I…I'm glad you're ok. I was worried something had happened to you," I told him, but couldn't fathom why I was.

"I am well," was all he said.

I suddenly felt awkward. "Well, uh, is there anything I can get you? Food, drink?"

"I do not… require to eat," he said, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

"What – why? Do you have some kind of eating disorder?" I asked, half jokingly, but then regretted if as soon as I said it. What if he did? I'd feel like the biggest douche bag if that were the case. Could I be any more insensitive?

"Yes," he said, face void of any emotion.

I could almost feel the color draining from my face, "Seriously?" He nodded, almost uncertain and I started to feel suspicious. "Wait… are you being serious or is it that you…" I trailed off, was he homeless? "Look, either way – I'm getting you a sandwich, and some water… you need to eat."

"Why?"

"Because you need to eat, you could pass out or something," I replied, slowly.

"No," he shook his head, slightly. "Why are you concerned for my well being?"

I shrugged, wondering the same thing myself. "Someone has to look out for you."

"Maris, order up and you got another table waiting for you!" Derek called out from behind.

I glanced over my shoulder; Derek looked up from whatever he was doing and motioned towards a table near the entrance. Two guys were sitting there, looking the menu over. I sighed, and turned my attention back to Castiel, who seemed distracted all of a sudden, but met my gaze.

"I'm gonna go take care of that," I told him, shifting nervously on my feet at his unwavering gaze. "I'll bring you your food in a bit, okay?" He gave me a quick nod, and I smiled at him before walking off. I could still feel his eyes on me, and I began to feel a self-conscious about the way I walked.

When I reached Derek, I asked him to make Castiel's order, and grabbed the plate of food for the elderly couple. They smiled when I reached them, and placed their food in front of them. "Would you like some more coffee?"

"No, we're still on our first cup, deary. Can't drink this like we used to, but thank you," the woman answered, digging in.

"Enjoy!" I called out, smiling at them briefly, and moved towards the table of newcomers, who seemed to be in a heated discussion with each other, but went silent when I approached. Only the dark haired man greeted me with a tight, smiled smile, the other kept his eyes glued to his menu. "Hi, I'm Damaris, your waitress for today. Is there anything I can get you?" I asked, pulling out my pen and pad.

"Um, yeah… Can I get the chicken wrap, and a cup of coffee, please?" The man with the dark, semi long hair ordered.

I nodded, jotting it down and turned to the man who sat across from him in an old, beat up leather jacket. "I'll just have coffee – actually I'll take a burger too. Well done, and fries. Thanks."

"Got it," I said, writing the last of his order. "Coming right up, I'll bring your coffee," I said, and walked back to Derek. The food I ordered for Castiel was waiting for me when I got there. "Thanks, D," I said, grabbing it, and looking to where the man in the trench coat was sitting, but he wasn't there anymore. "Hey, did you see where my customer went?" I asked him.

"No," he said, looking the new order over. "Maybe the bathroom?"

"Maybe," I said, disheartened by Castiel's sudden disappearance. I placed his order back on the counter. "I'll just leave this here just in case," I said, and moved out of the way as another waitress gave Derek an order. I looked back at the empty table.

I just couldn't understand why I even cared about this man. He was, for lack of better word, a stranger to me. I didn't know anything about him, except for his name. For all I knew he could be some crazy homeless man. This was only the second time I'd seen and spoken to him.

Maybe it was because Odis had saved him. It kind of made me feel slightly responsible for him, if that makes any sense. Those sad doe eyes of his made me want to take care of him, take him home with me. Or maybe it was the empathetic side of me – the part of me I thought died after 'the accident' – reaching out, wanting to take care of someone, anyone - like I used to.

Or maybe not…

With a deep sigh, I grabbed two cups and a pot of coffee, and walked back to the table with the two guys. "Order should be up soon," I said, trying to keep my voice as light as before, pouring the coffee for them. And again, only the dark haired man paid any attention to me. The man in the leather jacket was looking out the window at a classic looking car.

"Thanks," the dark haired one said, taking a sip.

"Yeah, thanks," the other one said, grabbing his steaming cup of coffee and looked away from the window, giving me a charming smile. His hazel eyes met my brown ones, and his smile slipped off his handsome, rugged face as a tremor coursed through my body.

"_No, please – don't!"_

I hadn't realized he dropped his coffee mug until I heard it crash against the table, and some of the hot liquid splash against some of my bare skin.

"Dean! What the hell, man?" Shouted his companion.

I yelped jumping back a little and, startled, dropped the pot of coffee I was holding. It clanked against the cold, tile floor; thankfully it hadn't been too full.

I cursed under my breath, quickly pulling out some napkins to clean my arm and apron off as best as I could.

"Dean!"

I looked up. It seemed that the sound of his name had snapped some sense into him because he had looked away from me to his friend. The man, Dean apparently, visibly paled when he looked back at me. Nervously, I quickly glanced at the other man, through the corner of my eye and then turned my attention back to the one in the leather jacket.

"I-I'm sorry," he finally spoke; face suddenly blank. He stood up quickly, and I backed away, quickly. "I really am," and then he left the diner, and I tried to calm my racing heart.

"Damaris, are you ok?" Derek asked. I hadn't realized he'd been standing beside me.

"I'm fine," I replied, feeling a little breathless. I looked around, realizing that we were still in the diner, and everyone was staring at us. "Just a little burn, that's all."

"I'm really sorry about that," the dark haired man said, standing up. He was really tall, I stupidly noticed. "It's been a rough week," was all the explanation he gave as he pulled out his wallet, and handed me a twenty. "Please, keep the change," he said, giving me another tight smile and left, following his friend.

I blinked, and looked to Derek, as though he could explain what the hell had just happened. "What the hell was all that about?" He asked, and I shrugged, wondering the same thing as well.

When the guy, Dean, looked at me… it was like he'd just seen a ghost.


	4. Of Nightmares, Snow and God

**A/N: **Were-girl19. . Nancy T. DiaDeLosMuertos. Spanish Angel. KissWithAFistx and ScreamsOnScreen - you guys are awesome. Thank you so much for reviewing and for your encouraging words. I will continue on with this story, because i've put a lot of thought an effort into it. I just hope you guys will continue to review. And i also want to thank those for reading, and adding this to their alerts and so on. This chapter is on the long side, to make up for the fact that it took me forever to update. I hope you guys will enjoy, and choose to review =) it would mean a lot. Let me know what you think! ENJOY!

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**Chapter Three:**

Of Nightmares, Snow and God

"Snowing pretty bad out, isn't it?"

It took me a while to realize that the question had been directed at me, and that I had been staring out the window for, well, who knew how long before the doctor spoke. It was, in fact, snowing, I realized with a feeling of sadness. Looked like we'd be having a white Christmas this year, I thought. Drew would have loved it.

I turned away from the window, tucking a few loose strands of my curly hair behind my ear. I looked at the middle-aged man sitting across from me. He wore black slacks, and a white button up shirt, sleeves rolled up; exposing the edge of a tattoo on his forearm he must have gotten in his younger years. Glasses framed his thin, shaven face. He raised a hand, running it through his thinning dark, graying hair.

I hadn't known Dr. Carmichael for very long. He had been recommended by my past therapist, since she had to move away to take care of her sick mother, and could no longer see me. She had apologized profusely, telling me that it was not common for a therapist to up and leave a client, but that she would find someone she trusted, and was suitable to help. Dr. Jacobs had always been nice to me. I kind of missed her.

It was strange, but she had sort of reminded me of Drew.

"What are you thinking about?" Dr. Carmichael asked with a pad of paper and pen ready at hand.

I shrugged my shoulders slightly. "My sister. She loved the snow more than I did. We'd always go out and make snowmen – sorry, snowwomen," I quickly corrected myself, chuckling silently. "Even as a kid she was a bit of a feminist, that and, well, boys had cooties." I smiled at the memory.

Dr. Carmichael smiled with me, "Were you and your sister very close?"

I shrugged again, my smile faltering slightly. "As close as sisters can get, I guess. We fought a lot, but… I would have done anything for her."

"Were you with her when she passed?" He asked, almost quietly, knowing he was treading on dangerous ground.

"_The doctor thinks… she wont last very long, Mari… She's running out of time_." I could hear my mother's voice in my head as clear as the day she actually spoke those words. We were in the hospital, outside of Drew's room. She looked so tiny lying in bed, covered in wires and needles.

I shook my head, not wanting to think about her that way.

"No," I replied, avoiding eye contact and instead staring over his shoulder. "I was," _unconscious_, "unreachable. Look, can we, maybe, not talk about my sister?" I wasn't exactly asking, but I didn't want to be impolite. I didn't want to talk about Drew. Not now, at least.

He nodded, quickly adjusting his glasses. "That's okay. We don't have to talk about your sister, if you don't want to," he said, jotting something down. I imagined he wrote about how difficult I was being.

I yawned, suddenly, my body aching all over from lack of sleep.

He looked up at me and smiled, "Tired?"

I nodded, giving him a sheepish smile. "Yeah, nightmares aren't getting any better."

We'd spoken on and off about my nightmares in the past month that I'd begun to see him. I wasn't sure just how much Dr. Jacobs had informed him on the matter. I wasn't entirely comfortable talking about them, they were disturbing from the little I could remember, and scary as hell.

"You told me that you had been having these nightmares for quite some time?"

"Yeah," my eyes wandered around his office, lingering on a picture on his desk of a woman, and a little boy, who I guessed was his wife and son. "Couple of months, started a while after Drew passed away and I …" I trailed off, eyes wide and staring at a spot on the floor beside his chair.

"Your overdose," he finished for me, and my eyes immediately snapped up, and locked with his dark brown eyes.

I didn't say anything. I'd never really talked much about it. Not even with Dr. Jacobs, who had tried time and time again to get me to talk about the incident, even though that was mostly the reason why I started seeing a therapist. A doctor at the hospital had suggested to my mother that I would need counseling, what I had gone through was traumatic whether or not my overdose had been accidental or not.

He began flipping through pages, "It says here that when you were… resuscitated, you attacked the surrounding nurses and a doctor. They had to restrain and sedate you."

"_Hold her down_!"

I cleared my throat, and shivered a little at the thought of being resuscitated. "I honestly don't remember. It's kind of like a blur. I just remember hearing voices, and being in a lot of pain

It wasn't a complete lie. There was a vague memory of me waking up, and being scared out of my mind. I also remembered my arms and fists making contact with solid objects, which, I now know, were nurses and a doctor.

"When you took those pills, what was going through your mind?"

I almost didn't know how to respond to his question.

"I'd… been up for days worrying about Drew, and about my mom and dad. I hadn't slept in days. I just wanted to sleep," I told him, steadily, making sure that my face remained neutral. "That's all I ever want – sleep, but these nightmares…"

"I understand that these nightmares are giving you a hard time, Damaris," Dr. Carmichael spoke, his head slightly bobbing. "It's not an uncommon occurrence for some one to suffer from nightmares after something so traumatic. What is it that you dream about?"

"Um…" I ran a hand through my hair, pushing it away from my face as though it would help me think well. "Can't really say, I just know that it must be really scary because I always wake up feeling scared as hell."

We sat in silence for a moment as he studied my face. I shifted uncomfortably, not really liking that he wasn't saying anything.

"I'd like to try something with you," he finally spoke. "How do you feel about hypnosis?"

I shrugged, "I don't know. Never really thought about it."

"I'd like to try it with you. I think you could benefit from it, help you remember what they're about and perhaps how to go about treating them. How does that sound?"

"Well, if it'll help then okay."

It didn't take much to set up. Dr. Carmichael explained what he'd be doing as I laid down flat on the couch, hands resting on my stomach. He asked if he could record the session. I didn't see why not so I allowed him and he placed it on the table beside the couch, and pulled his chair closer to where I was. And we began.

"I want you to close your eyes, take a deep breath and relax," he instructed, and I did what I was told. "Let your feet relax, and your legs relax. Feel your chest relaxing, and your arms relaxing. Shoulders, head and neck relaxing, feel your entire body relaxing all over," he said, voice soft and soothing.

I felt myself dozing off. I wondered if it was because it was working, or because of the lack of sleep.

"I'm going to count backwards from ten to one, and you'll find yourself falling into a deep sleep."

I wanted to nod, but my body felt so … heavy. It wasn't uncomfortable, but relaxing. I wanted to let myself fall asleep but I was scared to.

"Ten."

I took a deep breath, wondering if this could actually work. Part of me was excited; I hoped to be rid of my nightmares. I hadn't slept in so long.

"Nine."

The last time I slept was the night Odis had run off on me, and I'd met Castiel.

"Eight."

Castiel. I kind of wondered how he was. It had been a couple of days since he disappeared from the diner.

"Seven."

I tried to clear my mind, hoping it would help hypnotize me faster.

"Six."

Dr. Carmichael's voice began to sound far away, kind of like an echo. It was creepy.

"Five."

Then I couldn't hear him anymore, and suddenly I didn't feel as relaxed as I had before. I felt scared, and my heart was racing, stomach churning.

"_You shine so… brightly_," a nasally voice commented. I felt myself tense up.

In the distance, I could hear my name being called, and hands on me.

The voice got louder, closer. "Five, four, three, two, one!" A voice counted, quickly, sounding almost panicked.

Everything was silent, and I waited, but nothing happened. I sighed, disappointedly. "Dr. Carmichael, I don't think it worked," I told him, opening my eyes. I turned my head to the side to look at him, and found that he was nearly sitting out of his chair, and he'd gone extremely pale, his eyes wide behind his glasses. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," he breathed, wiping the sweat off his forehead.

I nodded, and propped myself up on my elbows, looking at him expectantly. "Well, did it work?"

I quickly stepped out of Dr. Carmichael's warm office building, wanting to put some distance between him and I, and into the freezing cold, and was blinded by how white everything was. The snow had picked up, making it difficult for me to see things in front of me. I squinted, hoping it would help my eyesight and trudged forward, heading towards the direction of the bus stop up the street.

My cell phone suddenly rang, and I reached in to my pocket to see who was calling. It was my mother. I took out my headphones, not wanting to hold my phone against my ear because of how cold it was, not to mention that my gloves made it difficult to hold anything.

"Hey, mom," I greeted her, adjusting my scarf.

"Hey, baby. How was your session with Dr. Carmichael?"

"Well…" I thought back to how strange he had acted after he tried and failed to hypnotize me, but my mom didn't need to know all that. "It was okay."

"That's good," I could hear the relief in her voice. I felt a pang in my heart for her. I knew that she wanted me to get better. "Are you on your way home?"

"Yup, just walking to the bus stop now." I looked across the street, and found a man walking parallel to me. He was also looking in my direction as he walked. Creep, I thought and looked away.

"Want me to make you something for lunch – Odis, basta!" My mother yelled for Odis to stop in Spanish. In the background, I could hear the German Sheppard backing aggressively." "Silly dog," she commented, her voice slightly louder now. "She keeps barking at the back door."

"Maybe she saw a squirrel or just wants out?" I suggested.

"No, that's not it. I opened the door to let her out earlier but then she started growling until I closed it."

"Hm. That's weird." I reached the bus stop, and stood underneath the roof of it and began to dust myself off from snowflakes. "Well, I'll take her for a walk when I get home," I said, leaning against the frame of the bus stop and looked ahead of me. People rushed about, trying to get wherever they were going, except for one.

There was a man across the street from me. I realized it was the same man who had been staring at me before. I couldn't make out what he looked like because the snow was making it hard for me to see, but it didn't stop me from feeling uneasy.

I looked away.

"Okay, and be careful on your way home, it's really bad out there. Want me to make you some chili?" She offered, and as if on cue my stomach growled.

"Mmm, yes please I'm starving!"

"Okay, see you at home. Love you."

"Love you too," I responded, and hung up, fumbling with the headphones.

There was a voice whispering to me in the back of my mind, telling me I had to go. Without even realizing it, my feet started to move on their own, and I found myself wanting to cross the street at the corner. I kept my eyes on the man, his pace was slow, almost lazy and I still couldn't make out his face. I picked up my pace, but as I stepped off the sidewalk, something grabbed me by the collar of my coat, yanking me back forcefully just as a car zipped past me, honking his horn.

I flinched, completely startled and stumbled over my feet, and began to fall but two firm hands kept me upright. I stared in horror, realizing how close to being hit I was, and then realized I had been saved.

I whirled around quickly, heart in my throat and a thank you on the tip of my tongue when I realized who had saved me. My heart gave a flutter.

"You should be more careful," Castiel scolded, staring down at me with those blue eyes of his. I hadn't realized how tall he was, but then, almost everyone was taller than me I was only five-foot-two.

I nodded, slightly dumbfounded by his presence. "I know, I usually am. I just got—" I suddenly remembered the man across the street. I looked over to where he had been standing, but he was gone. I sighed in relief, but wasn't entirely sure why. I looked back to Castiel; his eyes had followed mine, and were now staring at me again. "-Distracted." I finished, and realized just how close we were standing. Person space, I thought and took a step back. My eyes quickly scanned him. His dark tousled hair was nearly all covered in white, and he was still wearing the same trench coat as before as well as the same suit. "Do you ever change clothes?" I blurted out without thinking, but flinched as soon as the words left my mouth.

It sounded a lot ruder than I had intended.

"No, I do not require changing clothes."

I stared at him then, wondering if perhaps I had been correct about his situation. "Cas - sorry Castiel," I corrected myself. I didn't know this man well enough to use a nickname he could possibly hate. "Are you… homeless?" I asked, carefully.

"It's all right."

"For you to be homeless?"

He shook his head, "No, calling me 'Cas'." He looked away then, looking somewhat thoughtful. "It is to my understanding that humans have a tendency to shorten names."

"Humans?" I repeated, tilting my head forward. I was sure my voice held a touch of disbelief. The guy was crazy, I thought to myself, but seemed pretty harmless. Looks can be deceiving, my mother's voice warned but I didn't listen. "C'mon," I said, reaching out to touch his arm, lightly. "It's too cold to be out here, how about we go get some hot chocolate. I haven't even thanked you for saving my life. Sound good?" I gave him an encouraging smile, hoping he'd take me up on my offer.

"I've…" he shifted from one foot to another, looking around in obvious discomfort. "Never had hot chocolate before."

"Are you allergic?"

"No."

I nodded. "Okay. That's okay. There's a first time for everything," I told him, still smiling at him and began to walk away, towards the coffee shop up the street, but when I realized he wasn't following me, I turned around to face him. "Don't make me beg, Cas. I owe you a cup of hot chocolate, maybe more, but it's a start, right? So, c'mon!" My smile grew as he headed towards me. He fell into step with me and I jokingly asked him, "So… what are you, like my guardian angel?"

This had been like the second time he had save me, and yes I did count him finding Odis as saving me.

"Yes," he answered, smoothly, without a lace of humor. "But not a guardian."

"Great," I gave an awkward laugh. "So, what were you doing around here?" I asked, and it occurred to me just then that this was my third meeting with this strange man, who seemed to always appear from no where. I had mentioned it as a joke before, but could be possibly be stalking me?

No, I shook my head. There was absolutely nothing special about me to make anyone want to stalk me. I was a plain Jane, in every way.

"It is… not of import," he responded as we walked into the coffee shop. Surprisingly he held the door for me, and I thanked him as I stepped in. I decided not to press him on why he was in the area.

I was happy to see there was no line, despite the weather. I had been so sure that it would be crowded. Oh, well. I quickly placed our orders, and paid the woman at the cash register.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, and it seemed as though he wanted to keep our conversation going but was at a loss as to how.

I wasn't sure if I wanted to tell him why, but there was just something about this strange man that made me want to pour my heart out to him. He seemed so trusting. Something about him made me want to trust him. Maybe it was those sad blue eyes of his own, or the way he reminded me of a puppy with that face of his.

"I… had an appointment with my therapist," I told him, the side of me wanting to be honest with him won out. I grabbed our hot chocolate, thanking the woman and handed Castiel his drink. I started towards a table near the window at the front of the coffee shop, and sat down. He followed suit.

"Therapist?" He asked, looking somewhat confused as I sipped my hot drink. He did the same, and then his eyes went wide. "This… this is delicious," he said, genuinely pleased with his drink. This was probably the most emotion I'd ever seen from him.

I smiled, nodding. "I knew you'd like it," I took another sip, and watched as he downed his cup. I wanted to warn him that he shouldn't because of how hot it was, but it didn't seem to bother him. "And, yeah… I see a therapist once a week."

"Why?"

"My sister passed away a couple of months ago, and I had… an accident. My mom put me in therapy because of the nightmares I've been having about my sister."

Castiel set down his cup, "What do you dream of?" He asked, curiously.

I didn't want to have to explain my nightmares to him, so I simply said, "I don't know – I forget."

He didn't seem to buy what I said, but let it go. He stared at me then, really stared like he was trying to read my mind or something. "You should not feel at fault for your sister's death," he finally said, and his words startled me to the point that I almost fell out of my chair in surprise. "Her death was my father's will."

"Your … father?"

"God," he answered simply.

I blinked at him, taken aback and leaned back in my chair, putting some distance between him and me. I sighed. "Look, no offense, but I don't believe in God."

He tilted his head forward, eyes slightly narrowed. "You have no faith," he summed up, bluntly.

I shrugged. "I can't have faith in a being that doesn't exist, because if he did… bad things wouldn't happen to good people."

"God works—"

"In mysterious ways," I cut him off, finishing his sentence. "That's what people keep saying, but somehow I doubt that a being as big as him would care about insignificant little creatures like us." I wasn't sure why I was getting so worked up, and being snippy with Castiel, but talking about God always made me angry. Before Drew died, we'd been a churching going family, but after that… I lost my faith.

If God had turned his back on me, and my family - he surely wouldn't care about me turning my back on him.

"God loves you," Castiel said, voice confident and full of passion. He leaned forward, "He loves all his children, and he has a plan for you, but you must have faith."

I was starting to grow uncomfortable with all this talk about God. "Right," I agreed, sarcastically and reached into my coat pocket, pulling out my phone to check the time. "I have to go, Cas, but it was… nice bumping into you." I began to put my coat and scarf back on. He watched me do this in silence. "Thanks again, for, you know, saving me," I told him, and outstretched my hand for him to shake.

He didn't hesitate to reach for it like he did the first time. He grasped my small hand in his rough one, and then laid the other on top of it as well. He didn't say anything just looked at me with those bambi eyes of his. I felt like I was going to melt.

I pulled my hand out of his grasp, gently. "Bye, Cas."

"Until next time."

The phrase sounded somewhat ominous coming from him, but I shook off the uneasy feeling creeping up on me, and headed out of the coffee shop. I reached for my headphones, wanting to listen to music and as I looked up I saw Dr. Carmichael across the street. I raised a hand to wave at him, but he shook his head and walked away. I blinked, not really knowing what all that was about and then turned to look behind me at Castiel through the glass window.

He was no longer sitting at the table. Weird.


	5. Sometimes They Come Back

**A/N: **Aaahhh, so sorry that I took forever to update! Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, and encouraged me to continue this story. Hopefully the next chapter will be written quicker. This is when things pick up =) enjoy and please review!

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**Chapter Four:**

Sometimes They Come Back

"_God loves you_," Castiel's words replayed in my head from earlier that day. "… _He has a plan for you, but you must have faith_." I shook my head, feeling a slight bitterness in my heart. I didn't know how to feel about what he'd said. Of course, they had taken me aback at the time, but I had also felt an odd sense of comfort by them, especially since they came from Cas, who seemed so sincere. Like he really believed. Like he really knew. But what did he know about "God's" supposed plans for me?

"Penny for your thoughts?" Derek asked, startling me.

I turned to face him and it took me a second to realize that I was at work. "Huh?" I asked, confused.

"You've been spaced out for a while," he elaborated, with a small smile.

"Oh!" I nodded, realizing that I had, in fact, been staring out the window for a very long time. I turned away from him, quickly thinking of something. "I was just wondering why Saul decided to keep the diner open tonight," I silently congratulated myself. "No one's crazy enough to go out in this snow." I turned away from the window to look around the diner – empty. I shook my head.

Derek laughed. "I know," he agreed. "You know how Saul is though, and I don't mind it… I've got nothing better to do."

"True."

"Let's liven this place up," he suddenly said, and walked over to the counter to turn the radio on. Elvis Presley's Blue Suede Shoes was playing. He turned to me, smiling, "I'll make us some hot chocolate, we can sit, talk, relax. How does that sound?"

It was my turn to smile. Working shifts with Derek, even though it was the dead of night had its perks. "Sounds perfect. I'll just finish cleaning these tables."

"Sounds like a plan, be right back!" He said, disappearing into the kitchen as I began to wipe down a few tables.

Sometimes I really hated being a waitress.

"_Heaven, I'm in heaven…"_

I felt a sudden chill run up my spine at the sound of those words, causing me to shiver unexpectedly and stop what I was doing. I turned to face the radio, staring at it with a look of familiarity. I knew this song, I thought to myself, heard it somewhere but didn't know from where, but there was something in me, telling me that I _knew_ this song … and that I should run.

"_And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak; and I seem to find the happiness I seek… when we're out together dancing cheek to cheek…_"

My heart began to race.

"Oh, I love this song!" Derek told me, stepping out of the kitchen with a huge smile on his handsome face. He walked behind the counter and turned up the music then faced me with arms as wide as his smile. "Fred Astaire is freaking awesome. You have to dance with me."

I backed away from him, shaking my head slowly. "Uh-uh. I don't dance. I've got, like, two left feet, and what about the hot chocolate?"

"It can wait," he scoffed, continuing towards me. "And everybody can dance." He paused for a second, looking thoughtful. "Kind of. C'mon, it's easy. You put this arm on my shoulder. I put one of mine on your hip and we hold hands – like this," he instructed, adjusting our body parts. We stood closely to each other, and I ignored the unreasonable fear I was feeling as we began to sway from side to side. He smiled at me, "See, you're a natural – ow!" He winced when I accidently stepped on his toe.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" I exclaimed, my cheeks burning from embarrassment. I looked down at our feet to make sure I wouldn't do it again. No one but me would step on someone's foot when they're swaying – ridiculous.

"It's okay," he chuckled, squeezing my hand in support.

"_But it doesn't thrill me half as much as dancing cheek to cheek_," Fred Astaire sang, his voice soothing and old fashioned, but then a new voice filled my ears… this one a lot more… nasally, creepy… A quick flash filled my head - a rack and chains.

"_Heaven, I'm in heaven_… _Sweet-cheeks_."

I squeezed Derek's hand harder. "Are you okay?" His voice came through, overpowering the other one. His face appeared in front of mine. "You look sick, do you want to sit down? What's wrong?"

I looked Derek in the eye. "He sang this song all the time," I told him, not knowing what I was really talking about, or why I even said it.

"Who did?"

I didn't answer him, because I didn't know the answer myself. I just knew it was someone – a man, I think. It was like I could see him in my mind, but couldn't. It was strange, like a fog obscuring my view. It was scary.

"Damaris?" I hadn't realized that we had stopped dancing, or that he had begun to let go of my hand and waist. "Dee?" He shook me slightly.

I blinked, "I'm sorry. I don't know…"

"Are you okay?"

I shook my head slightly, trying to rid myself of the scary thoughts and smiled at him, reassuringly. "Totally." The bell above the diner's door chimed loudly, making me jump. I took a deep breath to calm myself. "I guess we better get back to work," I muttered, grabbing my pen and pad from my apron's pouch.

I was just about to turn away from Derek when he reached out to grab my wrist. "Are you sure you're okay?" He asked again, his eyes darting back and forth, between me, and whoever had walked into the diner.

"I'm sure," I stressed, feeling slightly annoyed but grateful that he cared. I smiled, a little, or at least tried to.

"Okay," he smiled back, but it didn't meet his eyes. "Get back to work," he ordered, jokingly. "We'll have that hot chocolate later."

"Aye, aye, sir!" I gave him a mock salute, and turned on my heels. The customer was sitting with his back to me, looking out the window with his hands folded on the table in front of him. "Hi," I greeted him once I was close enough. "Welcome to…" I trailed off when I realized who the customer was.

His eyes met mine, and I stiffened.

"_No, please – don't_!"

He looked up at me with sad, almost tortured, hazel eyes. "Hey."

I blinked, slowly, not knowing how to respond or what to do. Part of me was trying to remember the guy's name (_D… something. Dennis? Daniel?_), and the other part of me wanted to flee for some unknown reason, but I stood by the table, fiddling with my pen.

We stared at each other for, what felt like, forever before I cleared my throat and spoke. "Come to spill some more coffee on me?" I asked, jokingly, trying very hard to keep my voice light and friendly.

It was his turn to blink, and I thought he might have even been caught off guard by the lightness of my voice, like he had expected me to react in a different way. "Uh, yeah… about that," he scratched the back of his neck, looking ashamed, and wanting to be anywhere else but here. "I'm sorry," he finally said. "It's just that you… you look like someone I know – knew – you sort of caught me off guard. I'm sorry."

_Run._ I shrugged, "It's okay. No big deal, really." I waved his apology off. I tried to ignore that little voice in the back of my head that was begging me to go, to run. (_Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.) _I forced a smile. "So, what can I get you?"

"Just a cup of coffee for now," he ordered, and then gave me what I was guessing was his most charming smile. I felt a cold shiver run down my back. "I promise not to spill on you again."

"You better not," I joked, trying to giggle at his comment, but it came out as a weird sort of squeak.

If he had noticed my embarrassing squeak, he didn't acknowledge it in any way, just said thank you, and as I turned to get his coffee, I heard him say "…Christo." Or at least I thought that was what he said.

I stopped, and turned to him with a confused look on my face. "What?"

"Yeah, sorry," he cleared his throat, picking up his spoon. "It fell. Can I get a new one?"

"Sure," I reached for it, slightly inspecting it and looked at him, only to find that he was looking at me, expectantly. "Be back in a sec."

I quickly got his order for him, hoping that the faster I attended him, the faster he would leave the diner. I couldn't explain why I felt this way towards this man, but I knew that I didn't want to be anywhere near him.

"If you need anything else," I told him, pouring his coffee, and trying to give him my most convincing smile, "Just let me know." He nodded, and I left him, walking to the kitchen where I found Derek with a huge trash bag.

"You're turn," he told me, and I rolled my eyes. I hated throwing out the trash.

"Fine," I grumbled, rolling my eyes. "My hot chocolate better be ready when I get back!" I warned him as I put on a thin sweater while he muttered "yeah, yeah."

"You should put a jacket on, it's cold out," he warned.

I shook my head with a slight shrug of my shoulder, "What for? The dumpster is right around the corner, barely fifteen feet away. I'll be okay," I told him as he gave me a disapproving look. I grabbed the big, heavy garbage bag and made my way out.

When I opened the back door, a strong, icy gust of wind hit me hard and I shivered violently. I was barely outside for a couple of seconds and my teeth were already chattering, knees shaking. I cussed at myself for not grabbing that jacket as I trudged through the snow to the dumpster, and when I finally did I smiled in relief but that smile turned to disgust once I caught a whiff of rotten eggs, spoiled milk and other unmentionables. I grimaced, letting the lid shut with a loud thud, and turned to walk away.

"Well, well, well." Someone said, scaring the crap out of me. I jumped and looked over to see a man standing not to far away from me.

"I—" I took a step back from the stranger - who was now approaching me, slowly – and backed into the dumpster. I didn't mind the smell as much now, and for a moment, I wondered how fast I could run back to the diner, or why I even felt this scared, but then I recognized the stranger. My body did not relax. If anything… I felt much more tense. I wrapped my arms around myself as though to protect me. "Dr. Carmichael? What are you doing here?" I asked, slightly confused.

Had I ever mentioned where I worked to him?

"Lookin' for you, sweet cheeks," he replied in that nasally voice.

"_Don't you worry, sweet cheeks. This'll only hurt a bit_."

Fear. "Dr. Carmichael, what's wrong with your voice?"

He gave me a sinister grin. "Dr. Carmichael… he isn't home right now," he chuckled, and now stood so close to me that if I had outstretched my hand, I could have touched his shoulder. "But if you'd like to leave a message… well… you know the rest." He blinked, eyes shifting from blue to pure white.

I gaped, trying to move further back but the dumpster kept me from moving away and I was too scared to actually run. "O-oh my God… y-your eyes. What h-happened to your eyes?" I yelled.

"Aint they beautiful?" He grinned, and rushed towards me before I could react, and wrapped his hand around my throat, crushing my windpipe. I struggled against his hold, clawing at his hand and at his face. I felt him lift me so that my feet were no longer touching the ground. "Now, now… Don't struggle, sweet cheeks. We're old friends, remember?"

"_Heaven, I'm in heaven…" Screams. Pain. Blood. Dying. _

"Please…" I managed to squeak out.

He chuckled, "Look at you – so fresh. So unscathed." He dug his nails into my throat, and I felt a silent scream escape my lips. "I have missed your screams, little girl. I thought finding you would be… so much harder, but… even topside – you shine so brightly, that soul of yours. And like a moth to the flame, I was drawn to you. I'm gonna have fun watching the light in your eyes die. Again. And again. And again," he promised and squeezed my neck tighter.

I could feel my eyes tearing, lungs screaming for air. This man was going to kill me. I was going to –

"Release her." A voice commanded, coming from somewhere behind Dr. Carmichael. Through blurry eyes, I watched as Dr. Carmichael turned his head to stare at whoever was speaking.

"Ah, Angel…" he replied. "I should have known you wouldn't be to far behind."

"Release her now," the same gruff voice commanded.

I began to black in and out, the lack of oxygen finally getting to me. I closed my eyes, my hands no longer clawing at his hand. "This ain't over, sweet cheeks. I'm comin' back. For you."

Then suddenly, the hand clasped around my neck was gone and I was falling, landing harshly on to the snow-covered ground, I coughed violently, gasping for air.

Footsteps.

I could hear footsteps approaching me and for a second fear enveloped me. What if he had decided to just finish me off? I looked up, startled. "Cas?" I took in his appearance. He was wearing the same suit and trench coat. He bent down to be at eye level with me and I couldn't help but notice how blue his eyes were.

"Are you well?" He asked. Unable to speak, I shook my head. "I am… sorry that I did not get here sooner," he apologized.

"W-what?" I whispered, my throat burning.

"Damaris Rodriguez, we have much to discuss," Castiel said, voice soft and low, but still had a firmness to it that made me shiver. "But you must rest. Sleep. " And before I could ask how the hell he expected me to sleep after everything that had just happened, he pressed two fingers to my forehead, a sudden warmth spread through me and I was no longer cold. I could hear voices, singing, whispering in my head…


	6. Angels and Demons

**A/N:** Two chapter in one month?! I'm on a roll! This chapter things start to pick up, I'm nervous about it. Not sure how I feel with how it came out, but I hope you guys will enjoy it anyway. Thanks so much for those who reviewed – I appreciate it. Like you have no idea. Enjoy and please, please review =)

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**Chapter Five:**

Angels and Demons

I had a nightmare.

I think I almost died in my dream, which was a first. I'd never really died in any of my nightmares; they usually just consisted of fear, pain and torture. In this one Dr Carmichael had attacked me outside of work while I was throwing out the trash, picked me up by my neck without any real effort. He'd been so strong, and his eyes… they were white, and so eerily familiar now that I thought about it, but the thing that scared me the most was his face. He had looked so amused by the fact that he was choking the life out of me, no trace of conflicting remorse and if it hadn't been for Castiel showing up when he did, I would have. Even though it had only been a dream it had still felt incredibly real.

I shuddered.

Despite the wildly vivid nightmare, I woke up feeling ridiculously relaxed. I smiled a little, sleepily pulling the blanket closer, snuggling against my pillow. It smelled a little funny - like cologne. And come to think of it… my bed didn't feel right. It was too firm.

"You're awake."

Startled, my eyes snapped open and a slight gasp escaped me at the sound of the male voice. I sat up quickly and let out a small squeak when I found Castiel sitting on the edge of my bed, his blue eyes a little wider than usual. He looked a little concern, maybe curious. "W-what are you doing in my-" I cut myself off, looking around for the first time, and realized, "…this isn't my room." I looked back at the strange man, an unsettling feeling growing in the pit of my belly. "Where am I?"

"A motel," another voice answered for Castiel. I turned my attention to a man with shaggy brown hair, sitting in a chair across the room with a cell phone pressed to his ear. "Just outside of town."

I blinked. This man looked familiar, but I couldn't place a name to his face. "Who are you?"

He cleared his throat, shifting in his seat. "I'm Sam." He then put up an index finger, and stared down at the floor. "Hey, call me as soon as you get this. We've got a," he paused, giving me a look before shifting his eyes away, "situation." He shut his phone, and looked to Castiel, who, I realized, was still staring at me. "That's the third time I've called him – he's not picking up."

Castiel closed his eyes, tilting his head to the side. "He's coming," he informed us, opening his eyes.

I looked between the two men, that uneasy feeling growing even more. "Will someone please tell me what's happening? How did I get here?"

"I brought you here," Castiel told me, eyes scanning my face. "How do you feel?"

"Confused," and scared, but I didn't say that out loud. "What happened –" I cut myself off, suddenly remembering my dream. Those eyes. That face. "Dr. Carmichael – he tried to kill me. His eyes. What was wrong with his eyes?" I asked, panic lacing my words.

"That wasn't Dr. Carmichael."

I stared at Castiel, gave him a hard, long look. Of course it was Dr. Carmichael. I wasn't stupid. Or blind. I think I would know the face of the man, who was treating me, but I humored him, "Then who was it?"

"A demon," Sam answered. He was leaning forward in his seat, elbows resting on his knees, fingers laced together.

"Dr. Carmichael is a demon?" I repeated, deadpanned. He couldn't be serious.

"Yeah, well, he's been possessed by a demon," he clarified. He was completely serious.

Crazy. "Right, I'm going to go," I said, throwing the blanket off of me, and getting out of bed in a hurry, and from the corner of my eye I could see both men stand up in unison.

"Damaris Rodriguez –"

I froze, and turned to look at the man in the trench coat, confused. "How – how do you know my last name? I don't remember telling you my last name…" it was then that a thought occurred to me. When I had asked him if he had been stalking me when he came into the diner that time after Odis had saved him, I had been joking. Now I wasn't so sure,"… you really are stalking me, aren't you? That's why… you're always showing up…" I trailed off, feeling nauseous.

"I only mean to protect you," was all he said, confirming that he was, in fact, stalking me.

My knees felt weak. I wasn't sure if it was because I felt flattered or terrified. "Protect me?" I repeated. "Protect me from what?"

His face darkened a little. I took a step back, unintentionally. "The demon, Alastair."

"Who?"

"Dr. Carmichael," Sam explained, speaking up. I had almost forgotten he was in the room.

I felt my body tense at the name, my heart growing heavy. The man I'd learn to trust over the past few weeks had tried to kill me. There was a ridiculous sense of loss because I knew that I'd have to call the police to have him arrested for assaulting me. I thought about how distraught his family would be, but … what if he was violent with them as well? Damnit, this was not something I wanted to be dealing with.

"I have to go," I finally said when I realized I'd been staring into space.

"Damaris, please. Don't go," Sam pleaded, giving me these puppy dog eyes that I was sure could persuade anyone into doing anything. "We're not going to hurt you, we just want to help."

"Help?" I asked, incredulously. "Help me, how? This is crazy," I told them, hands gesturing wildly. My heart was beating faster, and I could feel myself shaking. "You're telling me that Dr. Carmichael is possessed by a demon – a demon - who the hell are you people?"

Castiel took a step forward and I had to will myself not to move. "I am an angel of the Lord."

"An angel?"

"It's true," Sam said, looking a little nervous.

I let out sharp laugh. "You're crazy – both of you. And I'm leaving."

"Damaris."

"I'm leaving," I repeated, turning away from both men. This was ridiculous. There was no such thing as demons, or angels for that matter. I didn't even believe in God. How could I possibly believe in anything else? I grabbed the door handle, yanking it open and let out a startled scream when I locked eyes with Castiel's blue ones. "How did you – " I turned around to look into the room. Sam was the only one standing there, watching the scene unfold. "What the F-? How… did you do that?" I turned back around to face Castiel, but he was no longer standing in front of me.

"I told you – I'm an angel of the Lord."

The voice came from behind me. I turned, shutting the door. "So…" I began, my voice shaking. "Angels and demons are real?"

"Other things too," Sam answered, looking at me uncertainly and with good reason. I could feel myself shaking. There was a part of me that felt I would faint.

"Are you an angel too?" I asked, hesitantly, eyeing him.

He shook his head, pushing his hair out of his face. "I'm a hunter. My brother and I, we hunt the supernatural."

I nodded, feeling lightheaded. "This is too much," I told them, and Sam walked towards me, leading me to the bed so I could sit. I thanked him, and stared at the floor. There was a long silence as I tried to process all this new information.

Monsters were real. So were angels. Did that mean God was real too?

"I know this is a lot to deal with," Sam said, sitting beside me. "I'm sorry."

I looked at him, "Why… why does Dr. Carmichael – the demon," I corrected myself, closing my eyes for a moment, "want from me?"

"That's what we're trying to find out," Sam said.

I suddenly remembered what Dr – the demon said to me. "You shine so brightly…" I muttered under my breath.

"What?"

"That's what he said to me – he said he missed my screams… he thought that it would be hard to find me topside, but I shined so brightly… he was drawn to me." I looked at Castiel. "What did he mean by that? I-I've never met this demon before in my life."

Castiel frowned. "No. Not in life," he said cryptically.

"Damaris, did you make some kind of deal?" Sam asked, looking at me as though everything suddenly made sense.

I shook my head, confused. "What kind of deal?"

"A deal with a crossroads demon."

I shook my head, "before tonight, I didn't even know demon's existed."

"You died," Castiel announced, and if I hadn't been sitting I would have fallen to the floor in a heap. Only a handful of people knew about that. It wasn't something I liked to announce. "Recently."

I could feel Sam's eyes on me. "H-how did you know that?" I asked him, but then realized of course he knew. He had always known. "Right. Angel."

"You died?" Sam repeated, eyes wide. "How long?"

I opened my mouth to answer his question, a feeling of dread overtaking me. This wasn't a discussion I wanted to have, but if it helped with whatever was happening I would, but before I could answer, the front door opened and a man stepped into the room.

"You," I said, eyes wide, recognizing the man. It was the guy from the Diner, the one who spilled his coffee on me.

His own eyes went wide, eyes shifting between the three of us. "What the hell is going on?"


End file.
